Stupid, STUPID people…

The rediculous list continues.  Entry number three:

Joel:  Good afternoon McKinney.  May I help you?

(Silence)

J:  Hello?

Crazy Lady:  Yes, what’s the zip code for North Carolina?

J:  Did you just ask what the zip code for North Carolina is?

CL:  Yes.

J:  There are lots of zip codes in North Carolina.  Did you happen to have a city in mind?

CL:  Oh!  Yes, Raleigh.

J:  Actually, Raleigh has many zip codes.  We’re located in Durham would you like that one?

CL:  Sure.

J:  27701.

CL:  That’s the zip code for Durham?!

J:  That’s one of them.

CL:  I’m trying to Reach McKinley and Silver, an advertising agency.

J:  This is McKinney and Silver.

CL:  OH!!  Could I Please speak with Regina Gibson…. or Brigola? (Please note:  Her last name is Brizzolara)

Have a nice day.

Feel smart.

the rediculous list

Entry number one:

Lady calls, and I shall try to type out a reenactment, saying:  “Um… hi.  I’m calling about the ‘breast feeding article’ … uh, I wanted to know what went wrong.  Oh, I’m from the LA Times.” 

What went wrong???????????????????????????

  __________________________________________

Entry number two (thirty seconds later):

Man calls:  “Hey.  Could I speak with Piglet Esthner?” 

Joel: “I’m sorry. I don’t have that name on my list.” 

What else was I supposed to say??  Try calling Christopher Robin?? 

Massages and chocolate

This a quick list of what my job does for its employees.  Keep in mind, I’m at the front desk so i don’t get to walk off at any time to enjoy these things.

Everyday privileges (free):

• 25 cent soft drinks  (free if you’re in office services–>me)
• ping pong
• foosball
• XBox
• 2:00 snack (chocolate, fruit, fancy cheese… depending on the day)

Weekly perks (at a price):

• dry cleaning service
• massage ($1/min)
• car wash (from just a wash to full detailing)
• Pub Thursdays: beer on tap. Served at 4:30.

And just as a welcome to the office, my department is going bowling on Friday at 12 noon.  Where there will be drinking… I hope.

Clearly spectacular

After four interviews and a phone screening, I’ve gotten the job at McKinney. You wouldn’t think they would take so much time to hire a receptionist. I am very happy to have a job since I had turned my two weeks in without having one lined up. A little sketchy, but I guess that tells you how much I was ready to get out of retail. I swear to god, if I make anything out of myself it will be a true success story: “College drop out, who was stuck in retail, thrilled to be hired to answer phones at the age of 24–Surprised by his success in porn.”

The celebration that followed yesterday evening was spectacular. Not only did we celebrate the new job, but Brandon turned 19. It was interesting sneaking him into bars, and his small stature was surprisingly not a problem. I think one highlight may have been when he carried two Bud Lite tallboys out onto the dance floor–twice. He was heavily intoxicated by the end.

Angie and Tina came and I got to make up for the mistake of missing Family Dinner on so many occasions. I think the sweat I poured out on dance floor more than makes up for my non-presence over the past few Mondays. I am wrong? I don’t know which of you came first, but the chicken and the egg definitely weren’t there, so they’re not even under consideration. Also, I don’t fuck with chickens or eggs.

2 weeks and Interview

For those who may be interested in my well being:

After efforts to convince me to stay, I’ve kept my two weeks in effect. My last day will be next week. I will be only working rollout during that last week, so make sure to show some love this week if you aren’t a rollout worker.

No, I don’t have another job lined up yet, but my interview yesterday went great at McKinney-Silver. They want someone to start asap, and they already called me back today for a follow up interview. Cross your fingers and any other part of you that can overlap.

In honor of my exodus, I’ve composed a haiku:

Sad to see it end

Even trees can learn to bend

Buddha sure is fat